Opinionate

I never quite learnt how to fly a kite I was too afraid of the cuts to think of soaring high Clutching tightly to everything I held dear I never knew ambition, but I sure knew fear I never liked jumping in the rain-filled puddles I was too worried about my feet getting muddled It's not often a kid worries about costs and benefits But I'd never dance in the water-clogged streets I never took a bet, always afraid of the regret The nicest memories are always the hardest to forget But I never could see how much greener the grass is On the back-side of today, through my rose-tinted glasses I never liked the taste of salt on my skin It was much easier resting in the wind But what do you do, when the wind stops blowing? When you don't know how to swim, all you can do is sink I never believed in destiny, still I resigned to my fate I put everyone else first, thinking the world would compensate But now, I'm too tired of always being the one to compromise It's time to set upo...

 My hair turns from black to grey to white As I lie awake for another night I can no longer hear the stories my youth tells Too young for a midlife crisis, too old for everything else    My own legs don't work like they used to before I can't even be swept off my feet anymore   Every time I look in the mirror, I think I used to be thinner But that won't stop me from having pizza and coke for dinner   I talk more and more, in the past tense I'm not used to saying "used to", at every chance   I tend to forget all my friends' birthdays  The days change, but not more than my weight   My growing fat has got no place to hide My jeans' pockets have barely got place inside   There's another wedding I'll miss tomorrow night The only thing I will stay up for is a Zoom invite   There are so many things I don't even know anymore The only music in my playlist is from a decade ago   I could swear that time goes slower everyday So how did I grow a...

Another night goes away, and I find myself awake Funny how I lost myself for yet another day The night grows longer as the shadows creep I toss and turn, trying to catch another minute of sleep   Put my phone away, but I didn't come with a bedtime mode My thoughts notify my brain as my body goes slow I can't put myself to sleep, however much I try It's dark outside but it's darker underneath my eyes   The sun rises outside, but it's my irises that are red My mind starts wandering about things I should've done instead I got jetlag without the trips, nightmares without the winks Think about working out, but all I do is start work in   I got a day job but I do it in the night And sleep in the day when it's bright, outside The world's upside down from where I see it What do days matter anyway when the light's been lit?   Although I've been told to change, by those near me It's like I got my eyes closed, because I can't see clearly A couple of...

Every weekend, an existential crisis takes over me. For someone who is so inherently lazy, a lack of work surprisingly unnerves me. I often do not do much about it, though. “Too much time” is never a problem when you can sleep at will. It has been over five months since I started working again. Not all weekends were as empty as this. Sometimes forced, sometimes voluntary - but there was often “just enough” work to do on the weekend. This was even more true especially in the beginning, when I was struggling to keep up with the demands of my job. For the last couple of months, I have begun to realize that I needed to work on the weekend. Because, simply put, there was nothing else to do. Not that I did not try. Since October, I have watched ~35 seasons of sitcoms on Netflix. And that is not counting all the MKBHD and Mr. Mobile videos I have watched on YouTube. I may or may not have spent my working days (and nights) watching an entire season of King Julien. Lunch times, half hour bre...

 Tonight, I find the mirror lying to me So many things, that I didn't expect to see I don't know what's worse, the darkness under my eyes Or that within them, speaking of a silent sacrifice I've always done what I needed to, never more What I wanted never had never failed me before But tonight, my wants exceed my needs As I find myself consumed with greed Maybe that is why I cannot recognize myself now? Maybe I'm no longer the same, maybe I changed somehow But how do you tell the world, that you're not the old you? When you don't even know, what you're becoming into? The past and the future me, like two worlds collide While the present me looks for a place to hide And so it is lost in the mirror, lost like a maze Lost forever, until the mask becomes a face

When I was young, I heard the von Trapps sing Roses and whiskers weren't ever my favourite things But that made me think, I have a list of my own  Of things I hate, that no one would miss, if they're gone Well I hate the sound of bells first thing in the morning I hate times that end, without any warning Both of them represent change I cannot deal with Just like moving away from home, they make me weak I hate people that divide on the basis of religion People that derive their pride from their position Recognise the privilege that you grew up in Your life would be trash too if you grew up in a bin I hate it when people try hard to be noticed in a crowd It's not a question of being better, just that of being loud There's no reason to be basic and yet to be proud Don't try so hard to fit in, just to stand out I hate people that take a loan but would never be a lender Hate people that lie and only speak with an agenda If yo...

Bachpan mein yeh shabd na kabhi kaha na kabhi suna tha Iss shabd ko bas ittefaq ne humare liye chuna tha Ab toh har galti, har haar ki bas ek hi baat hai Sabka ek hi naam - woh ek haalat hai Haalat aise, jo hum kabhi badal na sake, par jisne humein badal diya Haalat aise, jisne humein harake bhi, humein safal kiya Jo chaaha tha woh toh hum yahaan kabhi paa na sake Jo paaya hai usi ko hum chaahna seekhe Nafrat karte hai hum in ajeeb haalat se Jo chaha tha din mein, mila woh humein raat mein Aur jo chaha raat ko, woh bas khwaab samajh kar ro diye Bandh aankhon mein inn aansuon ko chupa kar so diye Lekin uth ke bhi hara na sake, yeh aisi museebat hai Kyun ki ab toh yeh haalat hi humaari haqeeqat hai

15 years ago, I was young and reckless I spoke more and thought less No worries in life, nothing to fear Laughing till my stomach hurt was the only time I had tears  Music and family was where I spent the day Had One Love, guess I Wanted It That Way Listening to Backstreet till I turned Blue These old songs, now they seem new Staying up till 12 seemed such a rush Anytime after that, and mom would make a fuss Now that's when I wake up, but at the opposite end Time is the only thing that sleep can't mend And now I am old, fat, with grey hair and a paunch Guess that combo goes with my childhood hunch Wish I could turn back time, to the days of yore When the biggest problem was that I would get bored Sometimes I hear a song that takes me back to that time A strain of music that makes me rewind Playing cricket in my room with my brother  Breaking the clock was the only bother And now I am far from the place I call home  Doi...

Got my fists stowed in my pocket Protecting myself from the wintery cold My shoulders creak from their sockets The weight of the winter is more than I can hold Got a jacket on to keep my chest warm But what about the heart that's underneath it I know that I'm not alone as I see the night washed by the dawn The moon stares back at the sun that lit it Though the night may be washed by the moon I never looked up to find that out I am simply lost in my own tunes And my mind, in it's own doubts I keep walking on these paths of rubble My feet are caught in their own race My eyes look for a winner in these doubles In the hope that I don't meet a familiar face And my ears, they strain for a familiar sound A song that I heard, but one I never listened to In the hopes that my words come around And fix themselves in a new rhyme or two But like the road in front of me My thoughts, they keep moving in circles They try to put in word...

A couple of days ago, I received an amazing mail from a mentor, that included a few things to remember for all working professionals. And that got me thinking, what have I truly learnt from my time at Deloitte? Before I started working, all my thought processes were influenced by seeing my father and how he worked. At Deloitte, I have come to add to that knowledge base, and now, I think it is time to reflect how exactly that has happened. When I started working in 2015, I had no idea how the ‘corporate’ world worked. I had notions, mostly from shows like Suits and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I soon came to realize (often the hard way) that these notions were widely misguided – when someone puts a gun to your head, you do not have 146 ways of saving yourself. Often, you just have one. And even that may not work. Therefore, I feel like I should share what actually works. While it is rather presumptuous of me to think that I have figured this out, I still think that there are lessons to...

As I open my eyes into the light Summoning all the strength I had Fighting my way through the night Wondering if my life was ever fair So as we bleed into the stars As we become who we are Could I just stop by and say? Could you be mine for a day? But the things we've done together They're coming back to me again We knew it wouldn't last forever Pity that cannot take away the pain So as we bleed into the stars As we become who we are Could I just stop by and say? Could you be mine for a day? I open my eyes again and you're gone Holding on isn't what I wanted to do I know what it's like to lose someone But how could I ever give up on you? So as we bleed into the stars As we become who we are Could I just stop by and say? Could you be mine for a day? And I keep fighting on every day Saying I don't even need you anymore Sometimes I don't even not...

I saw the hair fly by your face And that's when I fell for you A smile lit up my gaze When you looked back at me too That's when I came to know Two eyes are two eyes too few Because even if I had a couple more I couldn't get enough of watching you I wish that I could say to you I see the world in your eyes But when I'm looking at you The world's hidden in mine You may be the moon of my eye But am I the moon, and you the sun? You're the source of my light My glow is just your pale reflection I know I've seen you before But there was something different That told me you'd be back for more Back when the future was the present And even though you say you have Got to leave, got to leave soon The eyes, they say something else They leave me hanging like a fool So light up my life with the light The light of a thousand stars And even though now we say goodbye There's no way you're going far

Maybe it's time I found love Because lately at night I feel alone Standing all by myself in the dark Hoping one day, I'd find a spark Even though I've felt this before Lately, I've been craving for more I've been the only one holding me Back from you so the world could see See that I was complete by myself But no man could ever be an island So could you love me like an angel? So I feel the touch of heaven's whisper Could you maim me with your arrow, Strung right from cupid's brow Could you hide from me, no longer? Let me seek you from my oyster Could you stay here, forevermore? Could the present ever surpass the yore?

Sometimes I don't know how I got to this day Whether I became what I am or I was born this way Enjoyed my space, and yet I would take it back To keep my people closer than verses in a cold rap But it seems like lately I've been pushing everyone away Wish I had the courage to tell them and make them stay Been silent too many times when I should've said aloud How can I be sure when I am made of doubt? Afraid that I may fail, or life would just get worse The gift of this knowledge feels more like a curse If I am just the sum of what I do, and what I learn Why do I have to do it to decide how much I earn? I have always heard that money is the root of all evil That's like saying that guns are the reason we kill We do it to be things we would never become If you didn't chase the high life, how would you ever have fun If ever I was strong enough to pay off my debt My empty coffers would never ...

Here I go, waking up a few minutes late again The bus is gone, and I'm not taking the train Rushing to take a bath, forgot to look in the mirror Wishing my reflection in the window was a little clearer Drink my coffee and run to get my Uber Pool Foggy specs, dry hands, think the cab is a little too cool I haven't slept for long Because sleep is for the weak But I don't feel too strong At the end of the week Now I'm in the car shuffling another Ed song Thinking about all the things I did wrong Should've spoken more to my brother yesterday Should've slept earlier and kept my work away And before I know it, I'm in the elevator again Smiling at strangers, thinking it's just a pain I haven't slept for long Because sleep is for the weak But I don't feel too strong At the end of the week But then I turn my laptop on, and everything's forgotten I may not have fun work, but my work still is fun Singing, talking, bothering everyone around m...

I've given up on the hope that we'll ever meet Our conversations, though few, only seem to repeat I don't know how it got to this point of time I know we said we wouldn't ever speak a lie But what about the things we never tell each other Anymore, do you keep things from your brother I'd do anything to keep you happy and healthy Late into the night to comfort you, I'd be stealthy But now I don't pick up in the middle of the day I'll call you again in a while, you'll find me say But you know it's just a lie, because I've moved on You think I replaced you, but you couldn't be more wrong There's no one to share with, when the days get long That's why you'll find me complaining in this song But it's my own choice, it's not like I do mind The older I get, the more I have to leave behind And there's a word for it, Mauerbaue...

Walking on these streets alone Reach places I've never been before Ask people on the way for the road My mind has got a way of its own Think about things that make me smile As I walk along, mile after mile Feel old, still feel like a child Sometimes I feel like a drop in the Nile One song in my ears, another on my lips Singing like a maniac, you wouldn't believe Hoping that one day the music will heal The things that the lyrics make me feel And I don't have a clue, don't really know Where I'm going, where I'm going to go But I'll still set out every time I'm bored As in life, I'm lost too on this road

When you grow up, you have heroes, and then you have reference points. You revere your heroes, you worship them; you wish you were them. But reference points, they are different. They command a different kind of respect. They act like goalposts, they are not aspirational dreams but more of attainable destinations. Sachin Tendulkar was always a hero to me, but I never felt like I could be him. On the other hand, whenever I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew old, I would always say, "Harsha Bhogle". There was something about this gentle, bespectacled man that made me want to be him. I still remember my 9-year old self listening to him with ever-growing awe, trying to be his co-commentator when he was the lead presenter for cricket matches, and muting the television and partaking in a full-blown commentary session by myself when his stint was done. As is the wont of childhood hopes, they evolve. I took up computer engineering, and started talking to myself for entir...

This winter break, a new obsession overcame me - that of developing a trail-blazing Android app. Now, this was nothing new. Every vacation, I get captivated by a new idea - last break it was creating an app, before that it was composing a song, before that it was writing a novel, before that...Well, you get the picture. Right now, I'm dreaming of making a new social website; the Facebook of the Future, if you will. The thing about these ideas is that, more often than not, they fail to materialize; but when you do manage to implement some of them, the satisfaction is unparalleled. For example, the novel never happened (I'm still working over the nitty-gritty's, like the plot); but I did manage to write a song along with some of my school friends. Even though a year has passed after the song was completed, I make my classmates listen to the song as soon as I get the chance, and force them to say good things about it.  So, back to the app. The app was one of those fan...