Opinionate

 My hair turns from black to grey to white As I lie awake for another night I can no longer hear the stories my youth tells Too young for a midlife crisis, too old for everything else    My own legs don't work like they used to before I can't even be swept off my feet anymore   Every time I look in the mirror, I think I used to be thinner But that won't stop me from having pizza and coke for dinner   I talk more and more, in the past tense I'm not used to saying "used to", at every chance   I tend to forget all my friends' birthdays  The days change, but not more than my weight   My growing fat has got no place to hide My jeans' pockets have barely got place inside   There's another wedding I'll miss tomorrow night The only thing I will stay up for is a Zoom invite   There are so many things I don't even know anymore The only music in my playlist is from a decade ago   I could swear that time goes slower everyday So how did I grow a year ol

Another night goes away, and I find myself awake Funny how I lost myself for yet another day The night grows longer as the shadows creep I toss and turn, trying to catch another minute of sleep   Put my phone away, but I didn't come with a bedtime mode My thoughts notify my brain as my body goes slow I can't put myself to sleep, however much I try It's dark outside but it's darker underneath my eyes   The sun rises outside, but it's my irises that are red My mind starts wandering about things I should've done instead I got jetlag without the trips, nightmares without the winks Think about working out, but all I do is start work in   I got a day job but I do it in the night And sleep in the day when it's bright, outside The world's upside down from where I see it What do days matter anyway when the light's been lit?   Although I've been told to change, by those near me It's like I got my eyes closed, because I can't see clearly A couple of

Every weekend, an existential crisis takes over me. For someone who is so inherently lazy, a lack of work surprisingly unnerves me. I often do not do much about it, though. “Too much time” is never a problem when you can sleep at will. It has been over five months since I started working again. Not all weekends were as empty as this. Sometimes forced, sometimes voluntary - but there was often “just enough” work to do on the weekend. This was even more true especially in the beginning, when I was struggling to keep up with the demands of my job. For the last couple of months, I have begun to realize that I needed to work on the weekend. Because, simply put, there was nothing else to do. Not that I did not try. Since October, I have watched ~35 seasons of sitcoms on Netflix. And that is not counting all the MKBHD and Mr. Mobile videos I have watched on YouTube. I may or may not have spent my working days (and nights) watching an entire season of King Julien. Lunch times, half hour bre

 Tonight, I find the mirror lying to me So many things, that I didn't expect to see I don't know what's worse, the darkness under my eyes Or that within them, speaking of a silent sacrifice I've always done what I needed to, never more What I wanted never had never failed me before But tonight, my wants exceed my needs As I find myself consumed with greed Maybe that is why I cannot recognize myself now? Maybe I'm no longer the same, maybe I changed somehow But how do you tell the world, that you're not the old you? When you don't even know, what you're becoming into? The past and the future me, like two worlds collide While the present me looks for a place to hide And so it is lost in the mirror, lost like a maze Lost forever, until the mask becomes a face

When I was young, I heard the von Trapps sing Roses and whiskers weren't ever my favourite things But that made me think, I have a list of my own  Of things I hate, that no one would miss, if they're gone Well I hate the sound of bells first thing in the morning I hate times that end, without any warning Both of them represent change I cannot deal with Just like moving away from home, they make me weak I hate people that divide on the basis of religion People that derive their pride from their position Recognise the privilege that you grew up in Your life would be trash too if you grew up in a bin I hate it when people try hard to be noticed in a crowd It's not a question of being better, just that of being loud There's no reason to be basic and yet to be proud Don't try so hard to fit in, just to stand out I hate people that take a loan but would never be a lender Hate people that lie and only speak with an agenda If yo

Bachpan mein yeh shabd na kabhi kaha na kabhi suna tha Iss shabd ko bas ittefaq ne humare liye chuna tha Ab toh har galti, har haar ki bas ek hi baat hai Sabka ek hi naam - woh ek haalat hai Haalat aise, jo hum kabhi badal na sake, par jisne humein badal diya Haalat aise, jisne humein harake bhi, humein safal kiya Jo chaaha tha woh toh hum yahaan kabhi paa na sake Jo paaya hai usi ko hum chaahna seekhe Nafrat karte hai hum in ajeeb haalat se Jo chaha tha din mein, mila woh humein raat mein Aur jo chaha raat ko, woh bas khwaab samajh kar ro diye Bandh aankhon mein inn aansuon ko chupa kar so diye Lekin uth ke bhi hara na sake, yeh aisi museebat hai Kyun ki ab toh yeh haalat hi humaari haqeeqat hai

15 years ago, I was young and reckless I spoke more and thought less No worries in life, nothing to fear Laughing till my stomach hurt was the only time I had tears  Music and family was where I spent the day Had One Love, guess I Wanted It That Way Listening to Backstreet till I turned Blue These old songs, now they seem new Staying up till 12 seemed such a rush Anytime after that, and mom would make a fuss Now that's when I wake up, but at the opposite end Time is the only thing that sleep can't mend And now I am old, fat, with grey hair and a paunch Guess that combo goes with my childhood hunch Wish I could turn back time, to the days of yore When the biggest problem was that I would get bored Sometimes I hear a song that takes me back to that time A strain of music that makes me rewind Playing cricket in my room with my brother  Breaking the clock was the only bother And now I am far from the place I call home  Doing wha

Got my fists stowed in my pocket Protecting myself from the wintery cold My shoulders creak from their sockets The weight of the winter is more than I can hold Got a jacket on to keep my chest warm But what about the heart that's underneath it I know that I'm not alone as I see the night washed by the dawn The moon stares back at the sun that lit it Though the night may be washed by the moon I never looked up to find that out I am simply lost in my own tunes And my mind, in it's own doubts I keep walking on these paths of rubble My feet are caught in their own race My eyes look for a winner in these doubles In the hope that I don't meet a familiar face And my ears, they strain for a familiar sound A song that I heard, but one I never listened to In the hopes that my words come around And fix themselves in a new rhyme or two But like the road in front of me My thoughts, they keep moving in circles They try to put in word

A couple of days ago, I received an amazing mail from a mentor, that included a few things to remember for all working professionals. And that got me thinking, what have I truly learnt from my time at Deloitte? Before I started working, all my thought processes were influenced by seeing my father and how he worked. At Deloitte, I have come to add to that knowledge base, and now, I think it is time to reflect how exactly that has happened. When I started working in 2015, I had no idea how the ‘corporate’ world worked. I had notions, mostly from shows like Suits and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I soon came to realize (often the hard way) that these notions were widely misguided – when someone puts a gun to your head, you do not have 146 ways of saving yourself. Often, you just have one. And even that may not work. Therefore, I feel like I should share what actually works. While it is rather presumptuous of me to think that I have figured this out, I still think that there are lessons to